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LT
March 2024
Every now and again, if not all the time, us humans are tested. Tested in all sorts of ways.
One of the common situations is when an acquantance - a friend, relative, work colleague - decides to inflict pain - in this instance I'm not referring to a criminal offence - that is a different set of cirumstances. I'm referring to a sitruation where they've purposefully undertaken an act to offend, insult or cause other hurt. How do we react? Do we fight fire with fire? Do we lose our cool and immediately retaliate stronger, with greater force? Do we just leave and have no contact with that toxic individual . Or do we ignore it, forget about it and just continue as if nothing has ever happened? Or is there a another , better way?
In answer to this situation, I'd like to channel what a great leader would do. Now, of course, we all have a definition of what a great leader is - mine is clear. Who do I consider a great role-model, a hero, someone I would follow, somone who emulates the values I truly believe in.
So, what would my hero do?
My hero would consider the situation - what has happened? Why? And use it as a learning exercise - what great leadership attributes has the individual failed or not used? Have I fallen into that trap - and most of us have. We need to self-reflect and think back when we've done that - have we improved?
My hero would not retaliate - yes, the movies brainwash us with images of their hero loading up and getting their slice of revenge. What is the saying "while seeking revenger, dig two graves". It only makes you like them and there is nothing worse that been likened to your anti-hero. Remember, analysis and learning the great leaders skill.
No, my hero, if possible would sever all ties with the individual, afterall why be with a toxic individual who does not represent your values and does not respect you. However, if certain situtations, this is not possible, be it work or in a family environment. So then what? For the better good, be the organisation or other family members, or your own well being, we may pursue a stradegy of appeasement - reunite and keep the peace - as they say, ley "bygones be bygones". Unfortunately, when this happens, some people will see this as giving in, a form of apology for the obscure event that lead them to throw the insult of other form of pain - again, learn from this, its shallow people thinking. You are not apolizing, you're genuine, you are "manning up" to have peace.